I'm pretty sure I'm feminine...

Homecoming was last night.

I was fucking gorgeous, right?

did some naughty dances with a lot of boys

(mostly gay ones...)

Ate some epic nachos at Denny's

(and pancake puppies, though I only got 2)

AND PASSED OUT.

I was basically asleep before I had even gotten in the car to go home.

Which sucked, because I didn't have music to keep me awake

Then I went to church to teach the lil'uns about Adam and Eve.

It's my third week teaching; haven't had one kid yet.

And my classroom stank today

Like piss.

Like someone pissed on my cloth dividers.

Which is what you get for holding the Narcotics Anonymous meetings

IN THE PRESCHOOL ROOM.

Then I skipped the sermon.

To go the Renaissance Festival.

I learned that Paige is a decent driver, but hopeless when it comes to any kind of direction.

How hard is it to get on 79 then get on 70 then turn right?

Very hard, apparently.

Usually we wear pretty dresses to the Ren Fest

And buy jewelry and garlands and get henna on our hands.

But it was cold, so we wore hoodies.

And none of the jewelry was very appeasing.

And the garlands were really a one-time deal since last time we won them.

And henna was so damn expensive this year.

...so instead we bought knives and cigars.

Paige got a bootknife with a wooden sheath and beautiful designs etched on the blade.

I got an indian switchknife

("in case I want to stab someone and look gay doing it.")

And Paige bought rum and cherry cigars for her boyfriend

And I got a coffee cigar

(called the "crack" cigar by the vendor because it's so popular)

Idk if I'll ever smoke it, haha

I just want to sit and smell it forever.

That shop smelled so good.

We watched the washing well wenches be gross and disgusting and wet

(my future career)

and the naughty baudy babes sing dirty songs and rub their breasts in men's faces

(my other future career)

and "buckle and swash" tell jokes whilst (and at the same time) swordfighting

(::Not:: my future career)

and the joust

(which was suprisingly dumb this year.)

I also bought some incense (can I resist?) and some flavored honey sticks.

MMM and a candle which is made of lotion, not wax

which you burn, and dip your finger in it once it's melted and rub into your hands

My hands are so soft right now

and they smell like White Tea.

And who doesn't want their hands smelling like White Tea?

;-)

Note: I stole some things from Ben. ::insert credit here.::

Note: The things I stole were brilliant. I forgot that bit.