...and a girl oughtta celebrate what passes by...

It's a wink and a wiggle and a giggle in the grass, and I'll trip the light fandango. A pinch and a diddle in the middle of what passes by... It's a very short road from the pinch and the punch to the paunch and the pouch and the pension. It's a very short road to the ten thousandth lunch and the belch and the grouch and the sigh. In the meanwhile, there are mouths to be kissed before mouths to be fed, and a lot in between in the meanwhile.

I miss having long hair.

Kahlua Fudge, Gays, and Capitalism.

My first venture out into the open since I fell into a terrible sickness went as follows:

-Out with "the girls" (Paige and Connor) to see Capitalism: A Love Story

-Lots of laughing at Michael Moore's obnoxious rhetoric

-Houlihans for free dessert

-Commence addiction to Kahlua fudge.

-Connor leaves his cell number and many hearts for Sergio, our waiter.

-In the empty mall, "Two Girls And A Gay," the new fashion critic show, is formed.

-An hour of pictures taken all over the parking garage.

...insert minor digression here:

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT COFFEE:

-coffee is hot.

-coffee makes me excited.

-coffee is good enough to have every day.

-coffee smells good.

-coffee makes me nervous sometimes.

-coffee gives you warm&fuzzies.

-even when coffee is too strong or too weak, it's still pretty good.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT YOU:
-pretty much the same as coffee
-and who knows, maybe you taste good and keep me up all night too ;)

Zzzz...

http://current.com/items/90012248_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-medicine.htm
i wish this would embed. But it won't. Damn Blogger. I'm sick, with some horrible disease or another. I have pictures that I took on wednesday, which is the day I became sick (although the school nurse said i didn't look sick enough to be sick and WOULDN'T LET ME GO HOME, damn her)

Since then I have been sleeping, drinking, and watching marathons of "I Want That!" Who knew how many useless gadgets they make for rich people! My house just wouldn't be the same without lighted bathroom tiles or a dog food bowl with a camera built in so I can watch my Kaia when I'm not home... awww... not creepy at all.
When I'm not watching Fine Living Network, I'm probably watching Current, which inspired me to post a humorous Sarah Haskins clip on being sick.

(on that note...)

some other things about my day:

• I have mastered the art of making myself cry onstage. w00t!
• Got ____? We do! (Got creativity? We don't!)
• Best lunch ever today was mocked mercilessly by the lunchtable today. Robert The French (as I call him, along with "bony bod" and "jacques") does not appreciate the joy that I feel for having access to the art studio's microwave. I had steamy hot brown rice with cinnamon sugar, and all I got was his merde. he can va le faire foutre with a vache grase. There was no reason for him to pelt me with half-chewed fruit snacks. This is not Kindergarten.

The Bus.

Normally I am quite a fan of public transportation. I know, that's lunacy. I should be dragged to the nuthouse. (With all the nuts and the squirrels, thank you very much, Carol Burnett.) But I really do. It's not like I am waiting to be raped or anything. I just think it is nice to sit and take the long way sometimes. It makes my heart grow fonder for my Truckie (whom, unbeknownst to him, may possibly be replaced with a copper muscle car named Travis.) and for deodorant.

The catch is this: I do not, not, NOT enjoy in any miniscule way any experience with the common schoolbus; namely, the so-called "Activity Bus."

The story starts at my humble abode, where, as I prepared my lunch of brown rice and cinnamon sugar, a momentary lapse caused me to forget my cell phone. Mistake one. Cut to Paige's house, where we decided that she would drive. Mistake number two.

Now here is what you must realize about my best friend. We are completely loyal to one another. We love each others. We're practically conjoined twins, for Christ's sake. But when Paige has to make a desicion that directly involves both of us, she will ultimately choose whatever is easiest and most beneficial to her. Case in point: Rehearsal and the ride home.

Today we have plans to go out to dinner with our friend, Alexis. The planning for this dinner is to begin as of immediately upon return from rehearsal. Paige allows this data to leak through her gray matter and seep down into her bowels somewhere, and makes ::other:: plans to meet her boyfriend after rehearsal. This, of course, must involve leaving rehearsal early so she can spend as much time with him as possible before going out to eat.

I'm not dumb. I know that it is a lot faster from the school to Steve's house than it is from her house. However, she has duties as ride-of-the-day. She informs me of her plans to leave, to which I sigh and proceed to scan the cast of our show for other denizens of my fine suburb. One. I ask the question which I hear so often, "Hey, could you give me a ride after rehearsal today?"

"ummm... let me ask my dad."

So Pet Freshman Connor (from posts past) types away at his iPhone. I let Paige know I asked, rehearsal proceeds. Halfway through a scene, Connor gets a reply from Daddy that they're going out so they're not going back to the 'burb. Damn. I turn to tell Paige, who was last seen sitting idly on her rock, channeling her inner snake. The rest of her three-part body informs me that she has already left. Double Damn.

My two options are as follows: Call someone to pick me up, or take... The Activity Bus.

No one in my family is ever home before 5, so I find myself stuck on a full-sized bus with a total of about 6 other kids, of ages ranging from 11 to 18. These kids also live in every township my school is comprised of. Here I am, with one other friend (whose stop is first, so I'm still fucked), amongst the following:

• Various "scene kids" and ravers from the Anime Club.
• Two ::very:: talkative sophomore castmates
• A curious freshman
• An indifferent 8th grader
• A small child (potentially 8 years old) who sits in the back and never speaks; instead he bangs his head and his lunchbox off the seat for the entire ride.

The bus arrives at 4:15. I arrive at Paige's street, where Truckie is waiting, at 5:00. Paige lives at the top of the hill. I am left at the bottom, because a cal-de-sac does not accomodate full-length buses. I climb the hill, out of breath, to the truck, and grumpily drive home.

Now I'm waiting to hear back from Alexis. We are probably still going to dinner. We are probably not telling Paige.

Happy Birthday

10/5/95~10/15/05

He'd be 14 today.

I'm pretty sure I'm feminine...

Homecoming was last night.

I was fucking gorgeous, right?

did some naughty dances with a lot of boys

(mostly gay ones...)

Ate some epic nachos at Denny's

(and pancake puppies, though I only got 2)

AND PASSED OUT.

I was basically asleep before I had even gotten in the car to go home.

Which sucked, because I didn't have music to keep me awake

Then I went to church to teach the lil'uns about Adam and Eve.

It's my third week teaching; haven't had one kid yet.

And my classroom stank today

Like piss.

Like someone pissed on my cloth dividers.

Which is what you get for holding the Narcotics Anonymous meetings

IN THE PRESCHOOL ROOM.

Then I skipped the sermon.

To go the Renaissance Festival.

I learned that Paige is a decent driver, but hopeless when it comes to any kind of direction.

How hard is it to get on 79 then get on 70 then turn right?

Very hard, apparently.

Usually we wear pretty dresses to the Ren Fest

And buy jewelry and garlands and get henna on our hands.

But it was cold, so we wore hoodies.

And none of the jewelry was very appeasing.

And the garlands were really a one-time deal since last time we won them.

And henna was so damn expensive this year.

...so instead we bought knives and cigars.

Paige got a bootknife with a wooden sheath and beautiful designs etched on the blade.

I got an indian switchknife

("in case I want to stab someone and look gay doing it.")

And Paige bought rum and cherry cigars for her boyfriend

And I got a coffee cigar

(called the "crack" cigar by the vendor because it's so popular)

Idk if I'll ever smoke it, haha

I just want to sit and smell it forever.

That shop smelled so good.

We watched the washing well wenches be gross and disgusting and wet

(my future career)

and the naughty baudy babes sing dirty songs and rub their breasts in men's faces

(my other future career)

and "buckle and swash" tell jokes whilst (and at the same time) swordfighting

(::Not:: my future career)

and the joust

(which was suprisingly dumb this year.)

I also bought some incense (can I resist?) and some flavored honey sticks.

MMM and a candle which is made of lotion, not wax

which you burn, and dip your finger in it once it's melted and rub into your hands

My hands are so soft right now

and they smell like White Tea.

And who doesn't want their hands smelling like White Tea?

;-)

Note: I stole some things from Ben. ::insert credit here.::

Note: The things I stole were brilliant. I forgot that bit.